Summer of True Delight.

My summer story began a few hours before Acts 1:8 officially started. The Sunday we were to arrive, I was crying in the car with my friend. “I am really giving up my summer,” I quietly said through my tears. Thoughts ran through my head. “Will I miss out on fun times in Nashville with my friends? How will I make enough money without a full-time job this summer? Is this really what I am supposed to be doing?

I doubted my decision to dedicate my summer to the Lord. My friend reassured me that he was proud of me and that I would love this summer, that is what I was banking on – that my friends and family would be proud of me. I started out this summer full of pride.

On that same day, when I was trying to figure out if Acts 1:8 was actually my calling or not, I started to feel some anxiety about it. This was the last thing I wanted to experience, because it had been so common during the semester. It is normal occurrence for my breathing to speed up and my heart to race when there is something that I cannot control. With a summer full of rules and team time, I would definitely be limited to controlling any situation. I started out this summer full of anxiety.

When I got to my room I wondered how two people could live in a place so small. A few days passed and we would have meetings every day and they would always last longer than they were supposed to. Didn’t everyone know that I had things I had to do and didn’t want to sit in a meeting all day long? I started out this summer full of selfishness.

By the second day of 1:8 I was already wishing that I was moving into my apartment, going to concerts, opening my coffee shop, starting my job, planning events for BCM and attending classes. I was wishing away my summer, this was not a good sign. I told one person, “I can’t wait to get back to Bowling Green and start the fall semester.” He replied, “Don’t wish your whole summer away, enjoy the time you have. I didn’t realize that my subconscious was speaking. I started out this summer wishing it would end.

Fortunately, this was just the beginning of the summer. My heart changed as I let the Lord take hold.

This summer experience taught me many things about myself. I learned a lot about studying the bible, discipleship, pursuing my relationship with the Lord. However the most important things I will take away from this summer are the relationships and the lessons about who I am and most important that I am not done growing in my relationship in Christ and knowledge of Him.

One thing I learned is that I have to have my alone time to recharge. Contrary to previous thoughts, this is not something that is negative, we all have to recharge in our own way. For me this could mean either journaling in a quiet place where I can get all my thoughts on to paper or spend time in prayer and in the Word. There are many people that get there energy from groups of people, and I wish I was one of those types, but I am not. This summer I became comfortable with who I am.

Another thing that I learned was confidence. Before the summer started my discipleship leader from WKU asked our D-Group to pick out a verse that would sum up what we were hoping to experience or learn from this summer. My verses were Hebrews l0:35-36. “So don’t throw away your confidence, which has a great reward. For you need endurance, so that after you have done God’s will, you may receive what was promised.” This has been a verse that I have been trying to apply to my life. On May 31st, when I drove onto Southern’s Seminary Campus I was trying to grab a hold of all the confidence that everyone else had in me. But it was empty without the confidence that I had in Christ. It has been extraordinary to start applying this verse in my life. I am not going to say that I am the most confident person on the team (that is by far a lie). I am only saying that I am making an attempt to live like the daughter of God He has said I am. This summer I learned to find my identity in Christ.

I have learned how much of a free-spirit I am, and that this can be a good thing. I enjoy doing things on my own, but there is more to life than being on your own all the time. My favorite church that we attended while in Louisville was Sojourn. The pastor said one night that we need to be astonished by our relationship with God and also with our brothers and sisters in Christ. I took major advantage of the fact that I was forced to live with these 21 other people for a few months. I was in close proximity to people who were just waiting to pour into me and love on me and I didn’t realize that until a few days ago. This summer I learned to appreciate the blessing of relationship in my life.

 There were many girls who, when they heard the news, hugged me. I didn’t know if I was willing to accept this, I was fine, right? No. Through a situation, I was able to grow closer to my sisters who wanted to share in my joy and in my pain. I had experienced that before not to this extent. I was forced to grieve the loss of a friend and accept that it is okay to not be happy all the time. I was forced to take off my mask in front of people that I had lived with for 6 weeks, it was the first time. This summer I learned the definition of community through action.

There are so many times that I want to portray myself as a strong, Christian, wise, healthy, understanding girl. But I am not and that is okay. Jesus died on the cross to offer me grace and a relationship with His sovereign Father. I am starting my journey in this relationship and it is the most beautiful thing I have experienced. The process will be long and I will never be finished, but this is the journey entitled, life one day at a time for Christ. It is exciting and I hope that after hearing my story you will desire to dive deeper into this love relationship that the creator of the universe wants to have with you. This summer I learned what it means to delight and trust in the Lord.

Trust in the Lord and do what is good; dwell in the land and live securely. Take delight in the Lord, and he will give you your heart’s desires. – Psalm 37:3-4