In The Midst

There are some things that have really been bothering me lately. I have been questioning the attitudes of a lot people. And as I learned in my PR class - beliefs develop attitudes. I used to come to the conclusion that if people have a bad attitude toward me - it was something I did. I had this belief that I was doing something wrong or annoying - and that caused my attitude to be distant and think I was not valued.

One person especially has just caused lots of pain in my life for the past few months - I am one of those people who always wants acceptance by everyone - not so far that I would screw up and fall (that was in the past) but so far that I would change how I act around this person and try to be someone they would like - that way our friendship would be able to continue. But one thing I realized - that is just silly. I am who I am & God has placed amazing people in my life to walk with me now and be my source of everyday laughter and encouragement. That person's attitude is not my business and there is nothing I can do to change how they act or react in a situation.

Another thing ... The Lord really blessed me last night. I got to talk to a friend that seemed to have been ignoring me or.. avoiding me lately. But we got laugh and joke like nothing had ever happened. It was so precious to me - mainly because this person's friendship means so much & he hasn't been in my life lately. But that was just the first of many blessings of the night - 180 was amazing - Seth did an awesome job with his first night as Praise band leader & I can't wait to see how the Lord continues to grow him, his heart and his talent. Well.. Miles was supposed to read some scripture - Isaiah 43:1-7. It talks about how when we go through the waters we will not be over come and when we go through the fires we will not be burned. And these are the lyrics from the song we sang right before Miles got up to read: ... well I can't find the lyrics - but it was pretty much reflecting the scripture to be read word for word. It was beautiful - and probably I was the only one who noticed - but to someone who spends a while planning and coordinating the service - it was a HUGE blessing.

And then... once again. The speaker read a Psalm where the writer of the Psalm said that the darkness was his only/closest friend.. And a part of the verse of the last song of the night - the invitation song... went something like this:
When confusion is all around me
And the darkness is my closest friend
Still I'll praise You
Jesus praise You

As 180 Coordinator - these things never happen.. it's really hard to even get the songs to match up with the speaker.. and the thing is ... I can never doubt that Jesus was there/is here.

It is always great to be reminded that you are a part of something greater - especially when that something seems to get routine. It is reaching people on campus and affecting them - they keep coming back - to listen to the Lord.