weakness...

But He said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for power is perfected in weakness." Therefore I will most gladly boast all the more in my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may reside in me. So because of Christ, I am pleased in weaknesses, insults, in catastrophes, in persecutions, and in pressures. For when I am weak, then I am strong. - 2 Corinthians 12:9-10

This weekend was an experience that I will never forget. I spent three days as a youth leader at DNOW at a church in Auburn, KY. My dearest friend, Aly and I lead a group of freshmen girls. They were absolutely amazing. They opened up to us & showed us their hearts. It was beautiful.

I never expected to have a group of young girls who have gone through so much struggling and pain as these had in just the past year. One girl lost her mother, another's brother passed away in an accident, and a few others had family members who had cancer and either died or recovered. But this has all been in just the past year. I was shocked. The first small group we had at our host home... and these girls are revealing the things that have hurt them and I was amazed. They were so strong. They had built up walls... They thought they had to be strong. There weren't any tears shed that night - but it was just the start of the weekend. Some of these girls were there to learn about Christ and it was evident. They had their little notebooks and bibles and pens - and hearts that were open to an All Powerful God.

The youth minister of the church told us on Sunday afternoon during lunch (after DNOW was over) that he didn't want to tell us about the girls but instead let God to the work. By the last night ... walls were broken down - tears were shed - and a LONG healing process started. HE was at work.

There has been a reoccurring theme to me in the past few months. It may be a week or a month – but sooner or later everything that I have learned will click. I read the verse that started out this post almost every day a few months ago... knowing that I was weak. But then - I guess it was the city that did it to me... or being home for a few months... but I forgot that I am not capable of getting through the days, weeks, and months alone... well I might be capable... but there will be no joy.. due to the striving.

But last week ... it was just one of those weeks that you feel completely inadequate and useless. I was exhausted and behind in school and work. My wonderful friends offered loads of encouragement and silly times but there was a feeling that I just couldn't shake... that was until this weekend. I read 2 Corinthians 12:9-10 to a few of my girls - reminding them that we don't have to try and put up a front that we are strong… because we aren't...
I slowly - finally today - started relating it to my own life. I have been running around like a crazy person... not spending enough time in the Word and not spending time for myself to rejuvenate or prepare for each day. I was living in the moment and not prepared... and it was exhausting. I was striving to be perfect in everything I did and when I found out I had failed at multiple things – it was a gut shot.
Next weekend I will be doing something similar to the previous weekend. I know that I will be so tired – longing for a nap – and on spiritual overload (it will be a good thing). I will be fed truth all weekend… I will be weak – I will have to remember that I am not the One who is strong.

Certain things have been catching me off guard recently. Let’s just say I have been getting distracted. These things are not important and I don’t get very intensely distracted – but nonetheless – I am not focusing.
I am excited to see what this week and weekend will bring.

His Grace Is Sufficient.
we survived... and for the weekend got about 10 hours of sleep all together. .. once again i say.. "when I am weak..."
:)