& it happens again...

The thing that frustrates me the most.. is when people act one way a certain day and then completely change their personality toward me.

There are so many guys that lie about who they are. They seem overjoyed to be able to walk you to your dorm, car, class, or random place you are going at night. But two weeks later, they are done. You don't need their protection or care any more. I understand that I can take care of myself, and I am not saying that I need a guy to escort me to the place I am headed, but if you offer and think it is necessary, don't stop randomly. It makes it seem like you stopped caring, or I am not worth your time.

I have a few awesome brothers who will do anything for anyone at any time of day. But there are those few who put on a mask to get you think they are a gentleman, when really, they aren't. I think this is why I often deal with the issue of confidence. (or maybe it just adds to the problem) when a guy makes me think that I am so special that they would take time out of their busy schedule to make sure I am safe, then later I find myself walking to the parking structure one late night, it seems as if I don't matter. That is quite devastating.

I can count at least five "boys" who have done this. It's just getting old.

I am thankful for my brothers who care for everyone and have a heart for Christ and people. But I am sick of those who are posing. It's simply annoying.

blessings.

i live in a beautiful place. it's called bowling green. I have beautiful friends, ones who care about me and offer advice and laughter whenever the time calls for it. I have a wonderful family who misses me while I am away. I go to the greatest college ever - Western Kentucky University.

But how many times do I focus on the negative. There are many people who don't even know what it is like to have some of the things I mentioned previously. I am very blessed. The Lord has also provided me with a job. A way to make some money and finally feel independent from my parents. This is something I have been waiting for a long time. It is not only a job, but an internship dealing with Public Relations.

I also have this amazing little sister who was placed on my heart & mind last Tuesday (well.. really every day). I couldn't stop crying about her situation. But she is better. She is so beautiful & has a wonderful heart. She makes me soo happy!!!

But I do believe that the best thing about the past few weeks has been that the Lord is so awesome & revealing Himself to me. I have been trying my best to do my quiet time each day (I will not act like I am perfect.. I still mess up & forget to do it every once and a while. But I am trying my best to fill myself with Him each day). I have made a promise to the Lord... To focus on Him this semester. To grow in Him & not anyone else. To establish myself in Him & not get consumed by anyone else. I usually have this problem with guys.. So I am just eliminating the problem for a little while. I am growing closer to my brothers in Christ and not growing attached to the attractive guys walking by me each day. It will be difficult.. but my goal is to "speak and act as one who will be judged by the law of freedom" and that mean I make the Lord my God, get to know Him, love Him, and tell others about what He has done.

I think this semester will be amazing. BCM is awesome. our worship service 180 is amazing!! Mainly because we are realizing that it is the Lord's time & not ours. It is not our time to shine, but His time to be known on a college campus..