in this city...

Thanksgiving break has been amazing so far.
I found out about 1.8 Leadership Experience, got to hang out with some fabulous friends!

My friend Bethy's boyfriend made us dinner Monday night after we watched Madagascar 2. It was so great to be back with my friends from high school. They have changed so much, as have I. The summer after we graduated we didn't talk at all, and I believe it was a good thing. We needed to grow up. Now one has a cute apartment, and a family, and the other is headed towards her area of profession and in a serious relationship with an amazing guy who is after the Lord's heart. And me, well.. I am working in what I want to pursue as a career and focusing on God - I think we are all doing just fine.. & being reunited seems to be the icing on the cake... even though it makes me feel extremely old! Especially when I was feeding Bethy's baby!



I also got to see my old managers at The Twin. They told me some stuff that has been happening in Estill with the churches and such. He said that 'the girl' got saved. Which is awesome! I also got to go to a prayer walk around my old high school. I got to go into the auditorium around 6:30 and read scripture, while lifting up the school. It was such a great feeling.

Last year the churches around Estill started getting together once a month to pray around and inside the school. There was a lot of open homosexuality, drugs, and apathy in the building during school hours. But after hours, there was prayer and God's word being read. Now that is not as big of a problem. One of my past teachers - whom I look up to - told me this. But now he says there isn't any leadership in the school with the Christian organizations. None of the students want to get involved or be a light. This is something that breaks my heart. How are people supposed to hear unless there is someone to tell them. The reason why it is so upsetting is because I was the student in high school who wanted to lead the group and talk about Jesus during the meeting, but after that was over I was all about talking behind people's backs, starting drama, and getting involved with boys who didn't honor God.

But He is the God of this city.. and Better things are still to be done in this city..




I truly believe that He is moving through His children & it is amazing to be able to see fruit in my hometown!

His Grace is sufficient.

to the ends of the earth.

This weekend I went to an interview for summer missions with 1.8 Leadership. I was really nervous the week prior, but slowly excitement took over all other emotions. I had to leave early on Friday to get there on time, so it was really stressful to get everything done and prepared for the interview - plus homework, projects, preparing to go home, extended worship, and tons of other stuff. But everything got done in time and I was off to Louisville with my friend Marcus by 2pm - after stopping to get some pumpkin chip muffins from a wonderful lady! -

When we got there... we checked into our hotel rooms and then got lost trying to find a Starbucks.. we finally found it and were on our way to the KBC for two days of interviews. It started with dinner. Then we went into another room to play some get to know you games & get separated into different groups to be assigned a project. My group was a little slow getting to know each other at first.. but by the end of the night our project was almost finished, we were watching Elf, and eating pizza we had ordered. It was a great time to get to know some amazing people who are just as passionate as I am about serving the Lord.

It was neat to see all the different talents coming together to achieve a goal. I will have to say that the worst part of the weekend was eating Vienna sausages for a scavenger hunt. I had to eat a whole can of them. It was totally disgusting!! I gagged & started tearing up.. but that was the only down part of the whole weekend.

I was in church this morning and we were taking up an offering for missions. To make everyone understand and encourage them to give - the pastor had us read the Great Commission and then Acts 1:8. I was so moved by reading the verse with my brothers and sisters that a few tears fell. It was so beautiful.

I will hear whether or not I got a spot on the 1.8 Leadership Team this week - before Thanksgiving. I can't wait!!

There will definitely be an update of info after I am informed.

the race that lies before us.

I have realized lately that the ones who are closed to you are the ones who can easily tear you apart. They know what gets under your skin and they know how to drive you crazy. Last night I decided that it really doesn't matter. I have been given this personality and no matter if people say I am quiet, or need to be more social. I have been created for a reason & with a purpose & I am just living life. I was walking back from parking my car in that darn gravel lot (that I have come to despise at 12 am) last night/this morning & I wanted to just be angry... stew about how my friends are treating me... how they seem to be able to make me feel like if I was not around them - they couldn't tell the difference.. But instead.. the scripture I memorized today and Saturday came to mind and I started saying it... thinking about it.. and trying to apply it.

"Since we have such a large cloud of witnesses surrounding us, let us lay aside every weight and sin that so easily ensnares us. and let us run with endurance the race that lies before us. Keeping our eyes on Jesus - the source and perfecter of our faith. Who by the joy that lay before him endured the cross, despised the shame, and sat at the right hand of God's throne."

So easily, it seems, I get distracted by the small, trivial things that won't matter 2 days from now. I need to keep my eyes on Jesus - the source and perfecter of my faith.

And that leads me to the things that are important. The topic of recent conversation has been summer missions & all that fun stuff. There was some guy that came from Fargo, ND to talk about recruiting about 5 or 6 college students from LHope to go up there for the summer and live the missionary life in Fargo. It was awesome to see his heart and his plan for a church in Fargo.

Before he spoke, a man talked about mission opportunities is South Asia. It was so intriguing. I haven't ever been interested in spending more than a few weeks in a different country - since I have never been before... But when he talked about a summer & a semester opportunity - something inside me was sparked.

This Friday I will be on my way to Louisville for ACTS One Eight Leadership Experience State Interviews. Marcus, Aly, and I will be spending the weekend with brothers and sisters from across the state. If things work out with this & I do get to go ... then I will be spending a few weeks serving in Louisville & a few weeks in the Dominican Republic working with water purification. I have to admit.. I have never been put in a position where I have been out of my comfort zone - but I am excited at the chance.

I have always been nervous about going out & doing missions - mainly because it is just a little.. well.. exciting/intmidating/scary to know that the Lord is going to use you in ways you never imagined... & the thought of rejection.. that always makes me a little nervous (My weight and sin that I need to lay aside).

I have had a ton of people offer wise advice about missions.. One was that "you are the same person here - that you are over there." Which puts a lot of things into perspective and is helping me to realize how intentional our lives need to be with sharing the Gospel.

Another was along the lines of 'when you focus on yourself and how you are afraid or insecure you are taking the attention off of Christ & making things about you.' (They were refering to outreach)

How true is that though - we are not anyone different when we go to Fargo, South Asia, or the Dominican Republic. So why not start here - for one thing... everyone needs to hear about what Christ can do for them (& it doesn't cost anything to do missions where you are right now...)

So as I challenge myself to go out & have gracious words seasoned with salt - I challenge whoever happens to read this to be intentional & aware of who is around you, who is hurting, and who needs to feel the unconditional love of Christ.

until next time
-attempting to keep my eyes on Jesus - the source & perfecter of my faith!

Striving For More.

Therefore, since we have a great high priest who has gone through the heavens, Jesus the Son of God, let us hold firmly to the faith we profess. For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but we have one who has been tempted in every way, just as we are—yet was without sin. Let us then approach the throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need.

This is the topic of discussion with my DGroup & the mission is to strive for righteousness. My DGroup leader (who is awesome, by the way) challenged us to think about this throughout the week. The most important thing to remember is not that we are to strive for righteousness, but why we should.

Just the thought that we DO HAVE a high priest who has gone through the heavens (or gone into heaven) has been tempted in every way (just like us), but didn't sin! So we can approach His throne with confidence and there we will find mercy and grace to help us when we need it. How encouraging!

2 Corinthians 6:14-7:1
Do not be mismatched with unbelievers. For what partnership is there between righteousness and lawlessness? Or what fellowship does light have with darkness? What agreement does Christ have with Belial? Or what does a believer have in common with an unbeliever? And what agreement does God's sanctuary have with idols? For we are the sanctuary of the living God, as God said:

I will dwell among them and walk among them, and I will be their God, and they will be My people.

Therefore, come out from among them and be separate, says the Lord; do not touch any unclean thing, and I will welcome you.

I will be a Father to you, and you will be sons and daughters to Me, says the Lord Almighty.

Therefore dear friends, since we have such promises, we should wash ourselves clean from every impurity of the flesh and spirit, making our sanctification complete in the fear of God.

This has been so difficult for me to grasp lately. There are three promises God gives. These promises adress our problems of security, identity, and love.

These are my biggest struggles. Some people deal with different stuff, but my most difficult thing to overcome is the lack of confidence which leads to insecurity and a search for identity. I believe that this is something that will only be better once i find my security and identity in Christ. Everything else will just fade away & leave me empty and even more insecure. The only one who gives me something worth while is Christ. Why is it so hard to try to find this confidence.

I guess the good aspect of this is that I don't find any confidence in myself, which could have been a pride problem. But instead I have an extreme case of humility which can be dangerous at times. I don't notice all the gifts that God has given me to worship Him in my every day life.

So I pass on my challenge to Strive for Righteousness and Purity. Also a new challenge... to believe the promises of God.

New York City is official. I am going with two great friends!
We just got our tickets last night. The flight leaves December 27th and we will be back January 2nd. I can't wait to be sipping my Starbucks in the city surrounded by places to purchase some lovely things. It's going to be amazing!!

The best part is that we will be in Times Square for New Year's Eve. The Jonas Brothers will also be there. We might get to hang out (in our dreams).

But it's almost here!

Meribah & Massah.

Never before have I ever been so excited to study the bible as I was tonight.
I finally learned what Psalm 95:8 is referring to.. Exodus 17. This is a great story. It sums up the grace and mercy of our God.

So.. here is the run down, if you don't already know...

The children of Israel were on a journey that God commanded and they were led by the pillar of cloud and fire. They came to a place where there was no water for them to drink - I am pretty sure that in the previous chapter they were provided with manna and something else.. so why would they worry now.. but how many times do we do this daily. the Lord provides and then we freak out when something else happens.. like He isn't there.. but back to the story - This was a trial of their faith and sometimes we are brought into these times, but God is glorified in our relief. They began to question whether or not God was with them (even though they were being led by the pillar of cloud and fire.. curious). This sis how they were "tempting God", which signifies distrust after they had not had proof of his power and goodness.

God then graciously appeared to them when He told Moses to hit the rock with the stick that he hit the Nile with. Then water came from the rock.. WOW. This shows the Lord has patience with sinners. It reminds me of the verse that says, "when we were still sinner, Christ died for us."

Then one thing that the commentary I was reading said that just made me take a deep breath, overwhelmed with the love of Christ. "The Son of God is smitten for us."

A new name was given to the place where the children of Israel has this trouble. The name was in remembrance, not of the mercy of their supply - but of the sin of their murmuring. "Massah" which means temptation.. because they tempted God. & "Meribah" which means strife.. because they argued with Moses. Sin leaves a blot upon the name.

So... It is not just some story in the Old Testament that we hear in Sunday School as children.. but instead it is mentioned in about 4 other places in the Bible that I know of right now.

This is a real story that we can use to guide our own lives. Proverbs talks about learning from the fools land... and we can use this story of the children of Israel's distrust to know that God is always with us and He will provide. We just need to trust!!!

-HIS GRACE IS SUFFICIENT.

Lonely Tonight

I should be finishing up a quiz for my class.. but instead I am being comforted by a Matt Wertz song: Lonely Tonight. It hits the spot today.

Sometimes I just feel this way.. I want to spend the night alone with my Maker.

I just want to be lonely tonight, just me and my maker in this cold moonlight. And anticipation has been wearing me thin.And I just can't help but wonderin' baby if somehow We could tear these pages out and begin again. I just want to be lonely tonight
With no one around to see the sight Of me lying here. I won't be lonely tonight, because my Maker's holding me.

Sometimes it does feel like everything is falling apart and I am lonely. But the truth is.. He is holding me. & I am so grateful!!

-HIS GRACE IS SUFFICIENT